Detective RPG

Hello, nice weather today isn’t it?
Hell yeah!
I’m a detective. I need to ask you a couple of questions.
Why? I didn’t do anything wrong!
I am a magical sea-man, take off your bra.
What!?
Let me to tell you, YOU LOOK GREAT! By the way, I’m Paul.
Ohhh… Thank you, Paul! I’m Mya.
I wanna put my cock between your tits.
Get lost, bastard!
No time for explanations. Just show me your butt!
Fuck off!
So… Do you come here often, Mya?
You bet! I love the ocean, swimming, and tanning!
I just got a job delivering the local paper.
Aren’t you a little old for a paper route?
What do I have to do to make you sleep with me?
Do nothing! Just leave me alone.
Mmmm… tanning. You like tanning topless?

That’s the best! I like when guys stare at my breasts.
I’ve got a great big cock!
So what? I’ve got great tits.
Where have you been all my life?
By the look of you, I wasn’t even born during the first half!
Of course they do! Your boobs are truly magnificent!
Ohhh-yeah! Wanna feel’em?
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Why!?
All of them just wanna fuck you!
Don’t I know it.
Damn hot today, isn’t it?
Yeah! The heat is unbearable! Do you have any water?
Give me your ass, babe!
Stay back, pervert!
I’m looking for a girl with a birthmark on her butt.
I haven’t seen anyone like that.
Sure. Take it, please.
Thank you so much! I though I was gonna die of thirst out here!
Let’s go to the bar and grab a beer.

I’m not going to the bar with you.
What do I get in return?
What do you mean?
By the way, my name’s Paul.
Thanks for the water, Paul. I’m Nadine.
Can I have some sex, in exchange for the water?
Are you fucking serious?
So, you work as a lifeguard?
Yeah.
Want to take a walk with me? I’ll buy you an ice cream!
Sounds tempting…
The Lord gave us the power to fuck. So, let’s go have sex!
What?
You make my software turn to hardware!
Ohhh, really!
Hello, beauty! You look upset. Something wrong?
I’ve lost my family ring while I was swimming. Have you seen it?
Hi! Are you Laura Nilson? I need to see your ass!
Hey! Stop it now! How the hell did you know my name?
Damn! I can’t remember… where I have seen your boobs?

Back off, moron.
What’s the ring look like?
Ohhh…It’s hand-carved sterling silver ring… simple with no stone.
I’m a detective. Please, look at this picture. Is it you?
No, sorry. It’s not me.
If you were my sister, incest would be amazing.
Get away from me, freak!
I found a silver ring… is it yours?
No, but it looks similar. Could I buy it from you?
I bet you won’t take off your bra in public.
That’s a pretty safe bet.
I could die happy if I saw you naked just once!
Then you might die disappointed.
I can’t take money from such a beautiful woman. Here, you can have it.
Oh, that’s so sweet of you! I think I know how to repay your kindness.
I’ll give it to you in return for a blowjob.
What?
Okay, give me a thousand dollars and it’s yours.
I can get a new one for less than that!
Hi Bethy! I’m your biggest fan. Your show is just AMAZING!

Thanks, honey!
How much do you cost, baby?
Hey, I’m not a hooker!
I’m a private detective and I need to talk with you, ma’am.
I’ll talk with you later, after the show.
I wanted to give you this pearl as a sign of my admiration!
WOW! Nobody’s ever given me anything like this before. What is you name?
I just love you! Can I hold your tits for you, baby?
Hey, stop it now!
Come here and turn around. I need to check your ass.
What!?
My name is Paul… Paul McClain!
You’re so sweet, Paul! I think you’ve earned a private lap dance.
My name’s Mr.Big! Would you suck my cock?
Mr.Big’s the bouncer, and he’s already got an eye on you.
Damn, You’re so HOT! I forgot my own name.
Ohhh… come on!
Can you help me? I’m looking for someone.
We’re all looking, honey.
Strip down, baby. I need to check out your ass.

Hold yer horses, Cowboy! Wait for the evening show.
Damn! You look so sexy!
Of course I’m sexy… how do you think I got the job?
Hi, sweetie! Did you miss me?
Ohhh… Hello, Paul! Nice to see you again.
Hey baby, sit on my face and let me get to ‘nose’ you better!
Are you drunk!?
Oh no, I’m choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
Stop kidding.
Thanks for your advice, Kirsten! It helped me a lot
I’m happy about you.
How are you doing, baby?
Thanks, I’m fine.
Can you help me up? My dick is too big.
Ohhh… really?
May be you’ll take a little break and drink with me?
Mmmm… Nice idea! I feel little tired today.
I wet my pants… can I get in yours?
What!?
Ummm, you have really beautiful eyes.

Ohhh… thank you.
Hi, sweetie! One whisky, please.
Comin’ right up! Nice to see a new face.
Hey! I’m looking for a girl.
Wow, you’re so charming… why haven’t you found one yet?
Let me tell you, you look amazing.
Thanks… you need somethin’?
Yeah, I’m new in town. Name’s Paul, I’m a private detective.
Nice to meet you Paul. I’m Kirsten. What brings you to Springfield?
No time for explanations, just show me your ass!
Back off, you maniac! Before I have the bouncers toss you out!
Look at this picture, please.
What a beautiful baby. Is she your daughter?
I’m looking for a young woman. She’ll be about 20 years old.
Do you have her picture?
I’m looking for a hot babe to have fun with tonight!
Good luck with that.
That information is classified.
Whatever, Paul.
Yes… I mean no. I only have her baby picture.

That’s not much. Maybe you could find something in the town archives.
I don’t. Only thing I know is: she has a birthmark on her butt.
Is that just a clever way of looking at every girl’s ass in town?
Sure. Take a look. May be you know her.
This is her baby picture, right? From when she was a b-a-b-y.
I will. Thanks for your help!
No sweat… Stop in again if you need anything, Paul.
One more question… Can you fix my zipper?
Nope!
Did I mention you have a nice tits!
I know… and I hear that all the time.
You’re so beautiful, you made me forget why I came here.
Ohhh…thank you! That’s very sweet.
Do you take it up the ass?
You first, you prick!
Are those implants?
No way! I’m all natural.
By the way, my name’s Paul.
Nice to meet you, Paul. I’m Julie.
I’m a private detective. Can you help me with my investigation?

Sorry, I don’t know anything and I’m really busy.
I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
What!?
Let’s have a seat, Julie. Can I buy you a drink?
Sorry, Paul, I’m working. I need to clean up before the rush starts.
Oh my God! I think I’m in love! Now lay down!
Stop it!
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
What!?
Let me to help you, maybe you could tell me a little about yourself.
Well, okay! That’d be nice.
Okay, baby. Let me know when you’re finished.
Don’t wait up, I’ll be working late.
I’m outta here. You wanna come along?
No, I told you I’m working!
I’m a private detective. May I ask you a couple of questions?
Sorry, sir. I’m little busy right now.
What BOOBS! Are those real?
Hey! Keep your hands to yourself!
Hike up your skirt and show me your butt.

Stop it or I’ll have your ass thrown out!
I know you. You’re that famous singer! I saw you on the TV.
You’ve mistaken me for somebody else. I’m just singing in this bar.
Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
No way!
My investigation reached a deadlock. I need your help!
Have you tried talking to the police?
I heard you singing, your voice is enchanting.
Ohhh…Thank you! Do you know much about music?
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
Are you retarded or something?
Do you have a birthmark on your butt?
Do you have a brain inside your skull? Doesn’t seem like it!
Yes, ma’am! I’m a producer. My name is Paul McClain!
Glad to meet with you, Mr.McClain. I’m Stephanie.
Yeah… I’m a professional musician. Can I play on your mandolin?
Are you still talking about music?
No, I’m not. I just try to be nice.
Ohhh… I see!
I can set up a private audition for you if you want, Stephanie.

Ohhh… that would be great!
I might be able to jump-start your career… in exchange for a blow job.
Hey! I’m not that kind of girl!
I’m always on the look-out for new talent.
Do you think I could be a star!?
I need your help. Please look at this picture.
Hmmm… I’ve never seen that baby.
Are those your breasts or are they Siamese Watermelons?
You looking to get a black eye, dick?
Hello, ma’am! It’s hard to explain, but show me your ass, please.
In your dreams… get lost!
I’m looking for a bit of work. Any openings I could fill?
We need someone to deliver the town hall’s paper.
Excuse me, do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
Step back, pal.
Nice shoes.
Thanks.
What a cake job! When I can start?
Not so fast. I need to interview you, first.
What’s the starting pay?

10 dollars an hour, plus benefits.
I was hoping for something a little more prestigious.
That’s the job I’m offering, take it or leave it.
Yes, ma’am! Whatever you say.
Okay, boy. Follow me to my office.
Do I need a college diploma?
That won’t be necessary…
Did I mention that I have a big cock?
Mmmmm… We’ll see.
Watch out! You almost burned me…with your hotness!
Who the hell are you, mister?
Hello. My name’s Paul. I’m a private detective.
Sorry, detective. I have no time to talk with you right now.
Fuck me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?
I don’t think so.
Mmmm… you smell terrific! Is it Burberry?
Yes, it is! You know a bit about perfume.
Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
You’re about as dull as a bag of hammers.
Please, look at this picture. Do you have such a birthmark?

No, I don’t.
Quite so. My name is Paul McClain. I’m a designer from London.
It’s nice to meet you, Mr. McClain. I’m Cindy.
No, my mom wears the same perfume.
Well, Bye! I need to get back to work.
Not really, I just guessed.
Ohhh… I see.
I have a little gift for you, Cindy. It’s an aroma from my new collection.
Uhhh…I’m so excited. May I wear it right now?
You just look hot to me.
Ohhh… really!?
Wow, you have some sweet birthin’ hips.
What!?
I need information about a person I’m trying to locate.
I’m just a secretary. You have better luck with the lady in Archives.
Hey baby, let’s see your ass!
What!?
Hello, Can I speak with the mayor?
Sorry, she’s out of office at the moment.
I just got a job here. Employees only, right? By the way, I’m Paul.

Mmmm… very clever, Paul. I’m Ariel.
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
Hey! Stop it!
Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
What!?
I’m trying to reunite a man with his daughter. I need your help.
Okay, why not? Do you know her name or anything?
I want to lick your thighs so bad.
Stay away from me!
Take off your glasses, shake out your hair! You’re incredible!
Ohhh… stop it, Paul. You’re making me blush.
I only know that she’s 20 and her birthday’s the 12th of October.
Okay, let’s check the archive. We should be able to narrow the search.
I have only her baby picture.
Sorry, but I can’t find her with an old picture.
No… I forget everything when I see your boobs.
Stop staring at my tits!
Hello! Do you work in the Archives?
Yes, that’s right.
WOW! What HUGE BOOBS! May I squeeze ’em?

Hey! Hands off, before I call security!
Those glasses really suit you.
Ohhh… Thank you.
I’m a private detective from the UK and I’m looking for someone.
What you need from me?
Could I ask you for a little favor?
What kind of favor?
I’m just doing a survey. How tall are you on your knees?
Excuse me!?
I’m hoping I’ll find some useful information in your records.
Sorry, but access is restricted; only town hall employees may use it.
I have a job for you… but it blows…
What!?
Would you like to have dinner with me?
Maybe… but I don’t even know you.
You look super fine. You must train a lot!
Yeah! I just love tennis. I want to become a professional.
I’m a private detective. Have any time for me?
Sorry, detective! I’m headed to the courst for training.
Nice legs, let’s eat out!

Where’s a cop when you need one!
That’s a terrific goal! When I was in college, I played tennis too.
Were you good?
I can be your couch, baby!
I have one already.
Let me look at your ass, sweetie!
Hey! Hands off!
Ohhh-yeah! I was won the intramural championship twice!
That’s interesting. Are you still up on your game?
Not too good. It was more a hobby.
Oh, well it was nice talking with you, but I need to go.
Of course! I was the greatest player in the whole world!
Never heard of you or seen your face.
Perhaps. I’m in good shape, though. How about match?
Hmm… could be nice training for me.
I am full of power! Wanna fuck with me?
What!?
I haven’t played tennis for many years.
Too bad… It was nice talking with you, but I need to go.
This is a beautiful garden you’ve got here!

Thank you, sir. It’s the fruit from the work of my own hands.
Please look at this picture. I think it coul be you.
I doubt it. I don’t have a birthmark like that.
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
Leave me alone, pervert!
You must be a handy, handy girl…have we met before? I’m Paul!
I don’t think we have. I’m Courtney.
Fuck me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Courtney?
How do you know my name?
Wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
Wanna get a face-full of fertilizer?
Looks like gardening is your passion, Courtney.
Yes! That’s why I work here.
Please, let me look at your butt.
Hey! Hands off, bastard!
I love your eyes. Such a beautiful color!
Ohhh… thank you, Paul.
I have a small present for you. Take a look!
WOW! That’s a rare Chinese evergreen wisteria!
How about a little break? Let’s eat something.

Sorry, but I already ate.
I’ll bet you $10 my dick can’t fit into your mouth.
I’ll bet you $20 my foot will fit up your ass!
Yeah! You like it?
It’s amazing! Come on, we need to plant it in the ground!
How will you repay me for this plant?
What do you mean?
Now can you show me your ass?
What?
Hello, ma’am. I’m a private detective. Do you have time to talk?
Sorry, detective. I have too much work in the garden.
Show me your ass. It could make you a millionaire!
Are you stupid?
Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.
Leave me alone!
Hey hot stuff! How much?
$100 an hour, stud!
Hi! My name is Paul.
You lookin’ to have a little fun, Paul?
I need to interrogate you, ma’am.

What are you… a cop?
Okay, Let’s go get liquored-up and rape each other.
Hmmm… got anything to drink?
Look at this picture. Do you know her?
Trying to kill the mood? No, I’ve never seen the kid.
I ran out of Viagra. Can I use you?
Sure, if you can afford it.
Yeah! I’ve got a bottle of damn good whiskey! Whatcha think?
That’s what I need now!
Let’s go to the bar. I’ll buy you a beer.
I don’t drink beer.
Suck my dick and tell me how my cum tastes.
Suck yourself, fuck-head!
I’m searching for a girl. Can you help me?
Sure I can, baby. I’ll blow your mind for $30.
I’m a detective. I need to ask you a couple of questions.
Hey, I didn’t do anything! I’m just walking here.
Show me your ass!
Hey! You gotta pay to play!
Hi! Can I flirt with you?

Sorry. I’m waiting for a guy I met on the internet.
I’m a detective. Could I ask you a couple of questions?
Sorry detective. I’m a little busy right now.
How much?
Hey, I’m not a hooker!
Here I am… don’t you recognize me? I’m the guy!
Really!? But you told me you have a blonde hair and blue eyes.
I’m looking for a girl. Please, look at this picture.
Are you looking for baby? Freak.
If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?
What!?
Sorry, that wasn’t exactly true. I’m a brunette, but I want to go blonde.
It’s okay, but I still only know your screenname. What’s your real name?
Hey! Don’t be so quick to judge!
Give me one reason.
Well, you caught me. I’m not a that guy.
So leave me alone, please.
My name is Paul!
Nice to meet you. I’m Meghan. So…Do you really have 9 inches?
I’m Paul and I’d love to swap bodily fluids with you.

Ewww… That’s disgusting!
He-he-he…Wanna know what to scream while fucking?
I just asked your name, freak!